Stillbirth. The word I surely have heard of, but never could bear the thought of anything so traumatizing happening to us. I never went there. I never thought it was a possibility. I never thought it would happen to me. No one “thinks” they are going to lose a child. I grew up thinking “I want to get married, buy a home, and have a family.” When people would ask me how many kids I want, I would confidently answer with my dream number, “2.” It didn’t cross my mind that that may not be a reality. Sometimes you may have more than your dream number, because you are one of the ones who has a child waiting for you in heaven. That is our reality. Our first child, my daughter Monroe, was born into heaven. She lived inside my body for 25 weeks and I must say it was the best 25 weeks of my life thus far. My husband and I have been married for over 4 years. We bought a home, we traveled the world, and enjoyed our time just the two of us. However, when we decided we were ready for a family, we were ready! When the pregnancy test came back positive, the joy between my husband and I was indescribable! 6 months of doctors appts, heart beat checks and ultrasounds that were all such happy days. We found out we were blessed with a healthy baby girl and my doctor used the word “perfect” to describe her ultrasound results.
Everything was “perfect” until I tested positive for Covid-19. Covid led to complications, which led to lack of fetal movement. I was admitted to the hospital for monitoring and Monroe’s heart stopped during my stay at the hospital. When you hear the words “I’m so sorry, there is no heart beat”, it is the most unimaginable sentence that I never expected to hear during my pregnancy. The shock, devastation, and heart break took over my body. I was induced for labor and delivered my beautiful Monroe, who was born sleeping. The weeks following her loss I didn’t know how to handle the extreme amounts of grief. I felt so alone. I quickly realized that unfortunately, I am not alone. The child loss club is a club that no one wants to be a part of and it’s heartbreaking to see how many mothers have their babies in heaven. Leaving the hospital without Monroe is a moment we will never forget. All that we had in our arms was a box full of momentos. There is nothing that I cherish more than the memories I have with her- all of her photos and all the momentos that the hospital put together for us. Our memory box means the world to us, and Memories from Monroe strives to give parents the momentos that mean the world to them. In Monroe's honor, boxes are donated to local hospitals in Grand Rapids, MI. Our goal is to eventually donate statewide.